Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
