I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
