Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
