Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
