What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
there is glitter all over my balls
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
