So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
