she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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