Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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