watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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