Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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