We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
