I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
