I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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