you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
