i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
