If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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