Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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