im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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