Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
