So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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