It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
