I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
