respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
No stitches, just platelets and will power
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
