"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
