Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
