i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
