If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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