I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize