17 year olds will be the death of me.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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