You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
