so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
