His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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