I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
