We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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