This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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