im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he thought i was a dude.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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