is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
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I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
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who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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