The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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