I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
