The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize