im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
