i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
