I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I will be naked everywhere
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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