It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
