Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Every concussion has its silver lining
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
