apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
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I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
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I have feelings that need drinking.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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