I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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