I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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