I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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