my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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