I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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