He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
