A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
