I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
