Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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