There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
