at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
