She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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