Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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