He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
