YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
